Is it wrong to be ambitious?
The term 'ambitious' was mentioned at least two times this week. I found it amusing that it came out in different occasions.
The first one was during a casual conversation with a colleague, a fellow postgraduate. We were talking about marriage. She is married for almost 6 years, with 3 children and another one on the way. I found her to be a sister-like figure, although we are just 1 year apart. Clearly, she has more experience on marriage than me. So we came to the point which I mentioned that my previous marriage arrangement didn't work out because after leaving university, we realized that we want different things. And those differences formed a gap far too big to be compromised that it is irreconcilable.
My friend then came out with a response: "perhaps it is because of your ambitions? For me it was easier because I got married young, I just follow his plans."
I have no words to continue the conversation. She intended well, I know that. But the realization hit me hard. Tbh, in the last two years, I have been exploring the extent and opportunities of being in the current field of studies. Still exploring now, and I found that there is so much I can do. So many things that a 22-year old self couldn't fathom (that was the age when he asked, and I agreed).
Yet if you ask me now, what's my ambition? I want to be an expert in international relations, a great educator and a researcher. I also want a family, to be a badass daughter and sister, a God-fearing and inspiring wife and mother. I also want to contribute to the community, in whichever way I can. All of these are within the basis of making my life meaningful and beneficial to others, as a means to attain Jannah.
So is it wrong to be ambitious? I don't think so.
Perhaps the wisdom behind the failure of the previous arrangement is for me to realize my potential. I wasn't built to become an engineer, or to be married at 24, or to be settled as a housewife. The contentment of the heart is attained in different ways, I am content being in my position now (despite not yet having job security in the upcoming 3 years or not yet meeting a suitor). There is so much to cherish, the gift of life, family, time, health, and opportunity to learn.
Am I ambitious? Yes. But I don't aim to become an astronaut or the next woman Prime Minister..lol
I just want a decent life, a meaningful and beneficial one. I will continue working on improving my future, but the contentment will always be present.
To close this one off, the speaker in a lecture I attended recently said "I used to think that certain topics are too ambitious to be attempted, but now at the age of 60, what is ambitious anyway?".
Sooner or later, we will need to attempt our most ambitious ideas. Dream on!
The first one was during a casual conversation with a colleague, a fellow postgraduate. We were talking about marriage. She is married for almost 6 years, with 3 children and another one on the way. I found her to be a sister-like figure, although we are just 1 year apart. Clearly, she has more experience on marriage than me. So we came to the point which I mentioned that my previous marriage arrangement didn't work out because after leaving university, we realized that we want different things. And those differences formed a gap far too big to be compromised that it is irreconcilable.
My friend then came out with a response: "perhaps it is because of your ambitions? For me it was easier because I got married young, I just follow his plans."
I have no words to continue the conversation. She intended well, I know that. But the realization hit me hard. Tbh, in the last two years, I have been exploring the extent and opportunities of being in the current field of studies. Still exploring now, and I found that there is so much I can do. So many things that a 22-year old self couldn't fathom (that was the age when he asked, and I agreed).
Yet if you ask me now, what's my ambition? I want to be an expert in international relations, a great educator and a researcher. I also want a family, to be a badass daughter and sister, a God-fearing and inspiring wife and mother. I also want to contribute to the community, in whichever way I can. All of these are within the basis of making my life meaningful and beneficial to others, as a means to attain Jannah.
So is it wrong to be ambitious? I don't think so.
Perhaps the wisdom behind the failure of the previous arrangement is for me to realize my potential. I wasn't built to become an engineer, or to be married at 24, or to be settled as a housewife. The contentment of the heart is attained in different ways, I am content being in my position now (despite not yet having job security in the upcoming 3 years or not yet meeting a suitor). There is so much to cherish, the gift of life, family, time, health, and opportunity to learn.
Am I ambitious? Yes. But I don't aim to become an astronaut or the next woman Prime Minister..lol
I just want a decent life, a meaningful and beneficial one. I will continue working on improving my future, but the contentment will always be present.
To close this one off, the speaker in a lecture I attended recently said "I used to think that certain topics are too ambitious to be attempted, but now at the age of 60, what is ambitious anyway?".
Sooner or later, we will need to attempt our most ambitious ideas. Dream on!
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